01/01/2019
Welcome to 2019 guys it’s about 00:51 and I’m sitting here reflecting or more contemplating on how hard i’m going to attack this year.
For example I literally had a fight about nothing with my brother about nothing.
Basically he asked me to bring coke from Tesco as I work there. I’ll be honest there is nothing worse than finishing work and then having to go back into the store to buy an item and queue up when all you want to do is just go home. I challenged him asking why couldn’t he just walk 50m from our house and buy it from the sainsbury’s down the road.
He decided it was ok to make a smart remark. 9/10 times I think nothing of it but not this year, back handed comments (he called me weird) I simply will not take anymore.
But my brother is no joke, this will be a war of attrition and this year 100% I’m game.
Legit if this is what it is going to take to become in control of my life and to simply just feel for once some sense of respect for myself then this is what I must do.
I will make one simple condition he needs to apologise for his behaviour this evening and he needs to recognise his place with me.
Most of this (if not all of this) is in fact all my own fault.
Me out of some sense of misplaced faith thinks by not taking most things to heart and considering him my “equal” and at times my superior in a certain sense, not living to that convention of me being the “big brother” believed it would make a more balanced and happier relationship between us both.
But I am not happy. The guy is suffocating, he doesn’t know how to concede, he has no concept in regards to emotional IQ and I consider him a very selfish and ungrateful character who truly believes anything he’s achieved in his life is solely down to him and absolutely nothing else.
He blames everyone else around him when decisions he’s made go against him and that is all I have on him atm.
Rather than whinge and moan, I just need to really focus and adjust my behaviour, you simply cannot change others you can only change yourself and hope that others will understand and change their behaviour accordingly.
I created him to a certain extent, but only he can recreate himself.
2 0 1 9 let’s go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!