10/02/2020
What up my party people! Today is a day that I detail my net worth, but before I do that I wanted to talk.
I feel pretty down today. Not for anything particular other than a few conversations that I’ve had with people around me.
After these conversations and a couple of side situations here and there. I realise at times, I feel so alone.
Now I need you guys to follow me here and I can’t promise that I’m going to make sense but I’m going to try my best.
People around me all the time are pretending to themselves, they have some unusual pre set/pre-determined set of principles that they will continuously adhere to be it with work, life and relationships and for the most part It’s fine you do you and I’ll do me!
What I can never understand how people can completely change their principles or question years of a certain way of things just because of ONE, JUST ONE ENCOUNTER with a different set of people.
I genuinely believe this is one of the reasons why I have been single for such a long time now.
Here’s is an example of what I’m trying to get at:
I was with a girl for 8 months, things were as normal as a relationship can be (if that even means anything????)
I SWEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ON MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE, she met up with some friends, musta spoke about me, the very next time we met up I asked her about how her meet with her friends was and she got well odd. That very night we was on the phone and wait for it………..she told me, we shouldn’t be together because I was too short and she was used to dating guys that were taller than her!!! (I’m not the tallest of guys).
But seriously how does it take 8 months to figure that out?
Truth is , it doesn’t
For 8 months it was fine, it was of no concern to her, but when mateys start saying things like “Abhi”? Ain’t he a bit short for you?, people for the most part can never rationalise “consistency” over “perception”, “feeling” over “indifference”.
It’s like my mate that wanted to beat me up, I have known him for 15 years and this one time I made him feel low or put him down was enough to make him want to knock me out! lol
So going back to today, I felt alone because I’m in a special 2020 kind of headspace, and there are a lot of people that I want to share this with.
In my tight circles I shared it HARD at the start of last month and people (MY PEOPLE) seemed like they bought in.
But a couple of cusses here and a couple of smart comments there and low and behold 2020 with these people that I want to win in life just as much as I do ……disappears.
Now I don’t want you to confuse loneliness and my low mood today with isolation.
Isolation leads to depression, anxiety and stress.
Loneliness is just a feeling and only that. It’s an emotion that can be used to expose your biggest weaknesses which in turn can be used (if you’re willing to face your weaknesses) to drive the greatest out of you.
Loneliness and isolation…….
They are two very separate things!
I’m no nowhere close to feeling depressed, just a low day and it’s ok to feel like this at times.
What’s more important is to accept and be proud that I am alone with this mindset , it’s what separates me from everyone else, and it’s going to be fruitful, I just know it!
Ok
Net worth time…..
Debt + Liabilities
£161,455 (Mortgage on the flat)
£40000 (Dad)
Total = £-201,455
Assets
Positive Assets
Cash = £2607.76 (Liquid)
Stocks and Share ISA=£27,748.33(Liquid)
Gold – £3,722.64
(Liquid)
Tesco Shares Value -£65,666.50 (Not liquid)
Total = £99,744.26
Actual Net Worth = £ – -106,499.79 @ 13/01/2020
Actual Net Worth = £ – -101,711.5 @ 13/02/2020
And all of a sudden my loneliness has disappeared!
Lolll I’m so fucking close to being sub 100k, that jump was fucking massive! Wait lemme work out the difference in percentage.
4.59% JUMP!
Let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!